Sunday, 21 March 2010

Day 27 The Happiness Project


Stumbling around the online world of Happiness, I came across the name Gretchen Rubin.


Gretchen started The Happiness Project - a much more organized approach to what is essentially the aim of this blog. She spent a year testing out various Happiness Hypotheses, cherry-picking from philosophy, science, and self-help books.


If at all comparable to my attempt, Gretch is resoundingly more professional, disciplined, and distinctly less cynical. In respect of certain elements I wouldn't say we stand poles apart, BUT Gretch is American (SO loaded a comparison and one I fully intend to take the liberty of making and... ignore), grad of Yale Law School, professionally successful, married to a hedge fund manager, and has kids. Her motivation for The Happiness Project was an 'epiphany on the cross-town bus'. She asked herself ‘what do I want from life, anyway?’ and concluded 'I want to be happy'. So, happily, Gretchen spent a year being happy, wrote a book, got to number one in the bestsellers, and now is, I would bloody hope, happy.


The theory and intention behind The Happiness Project is of course goodhearted. HOWEVER what grates at me is similar to my concerns surrounding the pseudo-psychological self-help crap. Whilst the self-help nonsense could potentially be taking advantage (particularly fiscally) of people in a vulnerable position, Gretchen seems to come from a Good Place. Her default setting isn't one of sadness - so she starts from apparent fine-ness (mental, physical, financial stability) and builds up. Which is great, but does lead to a rather superficial outlook on the purpose and reasoning behind positive thinking.


It reeks slightly of a yoga-pant-clad-latte-swigging life that can be improved by Clearing Out Ones Walk-In Wardrobes or Resolving Not To Shout At Ones Incredibly Wealthy Husband. Ha! Sorry. It's just all a bit egocentric, as if Gretchen is 'playing' at trying to be happy. BUT ultimately why should it matter? The whole happiness industry is egocentric and superficial. Anyone getting out there and enthusiastically spreading a Good Message shouldn't be shot down because of where they're coming from... as I've said throughout, if it works for someone then that's A Good Thing. Perhaps it's because the best advice I've received is from those who have Been There, had a few hard-knocks and know how to deal with it. But then that's assuming the whole happiness industry is designed exclusively for those coming from a bad place. Perhaps I am completely incapable of making a coherent point today?!


I can also, as a little side note, recognise the blinding irony that all my criticisms of self-help drivel does in fact constitute my own self-help drivel. WHICH does, in light of the above babble, stand this entire mission for lent in an egocentric light BUT surely, in the same vein, giving up chocolate or alcohol or the more conventional choices for lent work to the same means? Additionally, if lent is to abstain from indulgence, I am therefore asserting that negative thinking is an indulgence, which it isn't (or is it?). WHICH ALL IN ALL JUST ENDS IN BRAIN ACHE.



RIGHT. In the absence of a walk-in wardrobe, hubby, kids, or indeed latte (woe is me!!) I'm going to follow point 5 from Gretchen's Six Tips for Tackling a Dreaded Task.


5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By the end of today, I will have _____.” This also gives you the thrill of crossing a task off your list.


Err, so essentially just write a to-do list.


In other news, tomo I am going to discuss why the self-tanning lotion behemoth, St. Tropez have picked alabaster skinned Kelly Osbourne to be their Self Esteem Spokeswoman. I mean, OBVIOUSLY I associate tanning, the Osbourne family, and self-esteem. And if that isn't superficial enough for you I don't know what is.

Friday, 19 March 2010

Day 26 Pots of Gold


My absence has, once again, not been due to a lack of positive thinking - simply having to rely on a 'dongle' that 'restricts access to user-generated sites'. So I hold T Mobile entirely responsible for restricting my zen like flow of positivity.

Of course, I have been able to access just about EVERY OTHER USER-GENERATED SITE and in doing so found Michael Anthony. Who I keep thinking of as Mark Anthony. Which makes me wonder what Mark would say about How To Be Happy. Probably something along the lines of 'do your best not to piss off every powerful man in the Roman Empire and, on recognising your current sticky predicament, try not to believe those who are SURELY going to tell you little porky pies about your lover Cleopatra having supposedly killed herself, and decide to kill yourself. And then learn she's still alive'. OR even Mark Antony, current hubby of Latino diva J Lo. Who would probably just recommend keeping schtum as the key to peaceful life.


ANYHOO... today is all about Michael Anthony. Michael Anthony is a veritable silver haired fox of a man, who has, as far as I can tell, dedicated most of his life to Making Golfers Happy. He wrote, to quote the fox himself, 'an empowering book The Mental Keys to Improve Your Golf that has literally helped thousands of golfers to improve their mental games and lower their scores. FYI - in golf the lowest score wins :-)'


FYI Michael, thanks for that. Quote is taken from the About section of his How To Be Happy website, which is an intriguing page not least for his dashing 'come on in! the water's lovely!' smile and sunkissed Californian tan, but a slight obsession with wanting you to know his FREE e-book How To Be Happy And Have Fun Changing The World book is his gift to mankind.


'I'm giving it away for free as a gift to mankind'

Mankind thanks you Michael


'I wrote a book that will benefit all mankind'

Yes, and thank you.


Oh - and the 'PS' at the end - Michael wants you to know that he personally spends money EVERYDAY on Google AdWords to spread the Happy Book word and hopes to invest more. BUT should you wish to, you could make a donation by clicking the useful link direct to Michael's bank account. 'Thanks for helping out :-)' Ahh - and if you are at all fretting about how much is appropriate, he casually throws in the suggestion of $10.00. Don't forget guys, this book is FREE but in order to Spread The Word and help Make Our World A Better Place, MONEY ALWAYS HELPS. He doesn't say the last bit. That was my input. Sorry Mike. ;-)


As ever I am drifting from the Good Meaning of all this. Reading his Happy Book he answers the question 'why would I want to give away something so valuable for free when it took me many years of my life searching to obtain it?' Why? SHARING guys. He believes in the 'insights contained in the book' and if they work for him they will work for you... oh but the choice is yours to put the insights to work for you... That's kind of like a disclaimer isn't it?! I've read this so many times on positivity websites and in books, it's simply saying: look guys, here's the answer to eternal happiness BUT ONLY if you work at making it work. I can get you SO FAR, and then it's down to you. And therefore, any failures ain't my fault. It also further perpetuates the assumption that happiness is something you 'search to obtain'...


You should also know this book isn’t for 'weaklings, brooders and pouters' (pouters?!). Oh no. 'It is for individuals who want to be great and fly with the eagles'. Towards the end of the book, Michael actively appeals to all to spread the word of his book and 'insights'. Should you wish, you could email or post a copy to 'all of your elected representatives and the judges who interpret the law'. Oh and while you're at it, Michael suggests you 'email Oprah and ask her to put me on her show'.


Mike also recommends using the daily affirmation: 'I am always truthful, positive, and helping others'. Daily affirmations are a popular part of the Positivity Industry. I found this one on an About.com website - it’s the affirmation for March and inspired by Leprechauns.


Good luck follows me wherever I go. Today and everyday I visualize rainbows in the skies and a pot full of golden opportunities. I am truly blessed!


Amazing. I’m not sure what mind-altering drugs are involved here, but I’ll give it a go


:-)

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Day 25 NEWSFLASH - Donald Trump tries to sell you something...

"All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected" Donald Trump


FOR TODAY! (OK, tomorrow, posting this early)


Savvy Life Coach


Savvy Life Coach is, yep, you've guess it! A life coaching website.


I think one of the most revealing posts from this blog is: 'Think You Look Good In Those Trendy Clothes?'....err??


“Skinny jeans, short skirts, leggings, lavender – the fashion trends are always changing so you try and keep up.”


Oh what a coincidence! I wear lavender too! The smell is divine and the teeny weensy twigs JUST ABOUT cover me up.


“Take skinny jeans. Skinny jeans are tight on your legs from your butt to your ankles. They show all of the fat you have on your thighs. When you look at someone wearing skinny jeans, it’s obvious if they have big thighs or not. If you have big thighs, you probably shouldn’t wear skinny jeans, no matter how much you like them. Why? Because those types of jeans will make you look shorter and chubbier”


Purlease enlighten me as to how this is supposed to make someone feel good about themselves?! I was clearly under the misconception this is a life coaching website, not a platform for fascist fashionista rants against curvy women in skinny jeans.


Ok so two things about this site - number one, I needed a break from philosophy and science because let's be honest, I ramble on. Number two; THIS is refreshingly different to most Happy Sites on offer. It's a veritable warts 'n' all, tell it like it is guide to life...


Get what you want! Doing it savvy

“I wanna be rich”


“I wanna make more money”


“I wanna have a good relationship”


“I wanna lose weight”


“I wanna be respected”


“I wanna be happy”

Interesting how happiness comes last, wealth first. Oh and of course, a close second – increasing wealth.


"A Savvy Life is when you live life fully with the most knowledge and understanding possible."


Not an entirely realistic statement m'love. Could even be considered an impossible state of being? Whatever, thinking along these lines led me to this DIVINE blessing of a site:

TRUMP UNIVERSITY

Sorry - I am bombarding you with two equally ridiculous websites in one day. HOWEVER - Donald Trump, Chairman of Trump University, shares his phenomenal thoughts with us. FOR FREE. Oh no! My mistake... promoting his university. On the topic of understanding where we come from, and how important this is, Trump casually mentions his Scottish heritage. To quote: 'it could even explain why I love golf so much - it originated in Scotland'. Oh and did he mention he's opening a golf course in Aberdeen?? Did he?

Sorry, tangent – at some point in his journey to build your 'net worth' he generally agrees that you should never be a know-it-all. Savvy Life Coach on the other hand...

“I love to create solutions in which everyone comes out happy, but I am also a winner”

HOLD ON GUYS! Let me just scrape my shattered soul off the floor. WHO IS THIS PERSON. 'Hey! I LOVE making people happy! True backbone of society, angel of altruism RIGHT HERE. Personal disclaimer: I will always come out on top. Got it? Good'


I am going to attempt

Find Happiness: Do Something Silly Every Day.

“So, do something silly every day and try to find happiness out of the small things. Make a funny face. Walk backwards. Do the Roger Rabbit in the middle of the hallway. Think of something random that doesn’t fit into the word “normal” and do it. It will make you laugh or smile and somehow, afterwards, you will feel happier than before.”


Whoop! Bring it on. And I do actually mean that...

Day 24 A Dream of a Man


Right, so, Sunday's blog touched upon the concept that behaviour such as altruism is innate but corrupted, in a sense, by society to the point of existing only as result of conscious effort. This is all obviously highly debatable but that just makes me want to talk about it EVEN MORE.


Every now and then, throughout this blog, I fall in love. Just a little. But this time, guys, it's different. OH GOD IS IT DIFFERENT. Finally FINALLY someone who, in my eyes, truly is that abundant burst of spring! A palpable crocus in the frost! A shining daffodil in the quagmire of nonsensical drivel that is the Positive Industry…


I am literally skipping through this one.


Adam Phillips is That Man. An ex-NHS psychotherapist who realized Much Better a Pound could be made through private therapy and authorship fits so snuggly into a North London stereotype I’d like to package him up and ship him out to Balham. However, tis from his book-laden, leather sofa clad Notting Hill flat that such works of extreme beauty as ‘On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored’ and ‘Going Sane’ have arisen. Ok so his work is not without (a whole truckload) of criticism - pretentiousness and succumbing to unsubstantiated aphorisms are popular – but this led to the quite frankly spectacular “oozes the arrogance of a man no one has contradicted for too long”. That, Carmen Callil of the Telegraph, only makes me want to know more…


He is one of the rare nuggets of sanity out there to recognize the worrying pile of self-help books is more of a problem than a solution. To quote from Darwin’s Worms: “Lives dominated by impossible ideals, complete honesty, absolute knowledge, perfect happiness, eternal love are experienced as continuous failure”


Oh how I swoon


“Sanity involves learning to enjoy conflict, and giving up on all myths of harmony, consistency, and redemption”


Right, snapping out of it just for a second (and perhaps seeing a slight, but equally fascinatingly paradoxical, look to Phillips of Bob-Dylan-Meets-Richard-Curtis-Character), Phillips succinctly slices through the Happiness Industry in a way I can only dream about – as far as the ‘search for happiness’ is concerned, he suggests this is simply a desire to keep ones appetite alive (see some dude called Freud for more of this malarkey). Figuring out what we really want is tough in general but when snuggling under a blanket of capitalism the whole process is generally corrupted by consumerism. WHICH encourages laziness when determining what might actually be a good course for us AND willingness to be led into whatever consumer trend has been shaped ahead of us. ALL very cynical, idealist, pretentious, WHATEVER, I know but I don’t care because it’s just a refreshing change to most of material out there on happiness. I know the majority of it Comes From A Good Place, and means well, but it doesn’t seem to get to the heart of why things go a bit wrong, and how this (get ready for the scientific terminology guys!!....) general wrong-ness is perpetuated.


However, to go against my entire post thus far, and because I’ve been reading about Phillips for too long (and you can [apparently] have too much of a good thing) I’ve found a quite spectacular article on Reader’s Digest. FROM which I will attempt Point Six (WHAT IS IT WITH HAPPINESS WEBSITES AND LISTS IT IS

1. Driving me insane

2. Driving me insane

3. Driving me insane

WITH REPETITIVENESS)


6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren't necessary and that you don't enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you're feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.


Well, despite the lack of a church bazaar/committee/Victoria Sponge Cake To Bake in my life, I am going to just say no today.



Sunday, 14 March 2010

Day 23 Brain Ache

Hokay - had to take a day off for TWO reasons. Firstly, it's not easy being 100% positive when it feels like someone has stabbed you in the knees (see last post). Looking on the bright side, I was jogging along the canal towpath so at least I didn't fall in, and, as far as my track record is concerned, FOR ONCE I didn't trip over my own feet. That is remarkable. Secondly, 40 days of Lent is spread over a 6.5 week period which effectively gives me 6 days 'off' positivity, which are supposed to be Sundays, but taking liberties...


SO


My thought process is becoming predictable... I say I'll follow an 'easy' website mission for the day but, more often than not, it inspires a greater depth of thought than those drenched in inane ideologies...


Take the most simplistic suggestion from Friday: try writing in the opposite hand. The concept of using the brain in an atypical (on an individual basis) way is fascinating AND wanders so mercilessly into the realms of science I feel the need to apologise once more for the lack of Aniston.


In the most basic of terms, a longitudinal fissure separates the human brain into two distinct cerebral hemispheres. Right and left. This dichotomy is almost so simplistic that I, a complete novice of science, can imagine the true situation is intensely complex.


The assumption is that the left hemisphere - logical, pragmatic, analytical, objective - rules right-handed people. Left-handed people however, follow the right - reveling in some kind of chaotic mess of creativity, artistry, and subjectivity. Most articles about this with regards to positivity and happiness, indicate a recent societal shift toward the right hemisphere. After years of capitalism and materialism, the effects of commerce and business are finally countered by the need for a more holistic, natural approach.


The more I read about this, the more I realise research into brain function isn't saying our behaviour is necessarily based on biologically determined factors, or genetic rules, moreover, societal patterns of behaviour have simply become so entrenched in human nature they are accepted as natural, creating tacit established norms. In this respect, for example, we are blind to the assumption human traits such as altruism take conscious effort. So we are not intrinsically motivated by self-interest, we are responding to (or are a product of) our environment - in many ways the insecurities of our environment. WHICH links back to the last post about governmental control over our immediate environment.


MAAAAAH! Thanks, from the bottom of my socially altered heart, for sticking with this stream of consciousness.


I had the immense misfortune of unearthing this wholly disgusting site: The 100% Brain Course


Fiscally motivated of course, 100 % Brain Course abuses the concept that you don't know how to be happy or successful in life because hey! Get this! You only use a small proportion of your brain! BUY THIS PRODUCT and you, yes YOU, will be capable of using 100% of your brain. The 100% Brain Course manual 'guides you through this developmental process with its 223 mental and emotional exercises’. 223? This website... this product, is true brain rot and I’m not going to make any excuses for it or try to weigh up any argument... all I will say, in its defense, is if you have EVER desired the ability to master Lucid Dreaming Techniques, this site is for you.


However, in the nature of this blog and as much as it might pain me, I will follow a rule from this site for a day. It asserts that most people are 'stuck' in daily routines, which use a small proportion of brain matter. Breaking your routine opens up whole world of grey matter! Point one, in the niftily succinct 7 point rules, is switching your 'handedness' which I've done... so fast track (avoiding point 3 - look in your refrigerator – I KID YOU NOT) to point 7:


7) To develop flexibility and adaptability in your life, do something different every day. Shop at a different store. Take a different route home. Bake a pie or a loaf of bread. Involve yourself in a new game or sport, like roller-skating, bowling, karate or skydiving. Introduce yourself to a new neighbor. Sameness every day is a death knell to your brain. For more complete usage of your brain, diverse stimulation is the key. It also gets you unstuck from habits and ruts that are bringing you unfavorable results.


Once again, I am not going ANYWHERE NEAR physical activity for now, and I doubt there is much demand for skydiving over Hackney. But I will make a conscious effort to do something new.

Friday, 12 March 2010

Day 22 Skeletons and Grazed Knees

Day of Food was, of course, super. Although being completely honest, I was horrendously hungover and so as much as I'd love to report a day of glowing health, frolicking between chicken salads and banana smoothies, I mostly dribbled cereal and stuffed (quite frankly incredible) pizza into my mouth.


Today's post is entirely based around ONE FREAKY FACT I discovered yesterday. I walk, on an almost DAILY basis, past THIS cabinet containing AN ACTUAL BODY. Yes, this is Jeremy Bentham, the 19th century philosopher. This is he! Actually him! Oh god I feel sick. I always thought it was a wax model (well, the head is) BUT it's his bones! In a cabinet! You would have thought, considering what I study, that I'm au fait with all things rotted and decayed, but apparently not so much. AND THAT'S NOT ALL guys, oh no, Dead Jez USED to have his REAL HEAD on his lap.


It's so freakishly, gothically* Victorian I love it.


So, in honour of the disturbing presence of ol'Jez, I'm going to write about the politics of happiness. I have touched on it previously – Jezza was an ethical hedonist and, along with the dude that was JS Mill, key proponent of utilitarianism and the Greatest Happiness Principle. GHP is (or bloody should be) at the heart of politics "the greatest happiness of the greatest number". HOWEVER, in order to determine this in practice, you have to be able to 'measure' happiness. Bentham believed happiness was quantifiable, and working on the notion that we exist under pleasure and pain alone, you can apply a value to pleasure that is its intensity multiplied by its duration. Fast-forward to present day and ‘well being’ is a critical part of party political manifestos. Happiness, as a part of measuring and assessing Quality Of Life, is now on a par with things such as economic growth, with talk of ‘sustainable development’.


“We should be thinking not just what is good for putting money in people's pockets but what is good for putting joy in people's hearts” David Cameron


A few years ago, a BBC program called The Happiness Formula set about recognizing the importance of happiness in politics. Fundamental rudiments such as health and taxes are as implicated as advertising campaigns (making you feel less well-off), or your daily commute (keeping you from loved ones). The program looked at the remote Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan where government policy on the basis of Gross National Happiness bans most advertising and TV programs. It even, and this point literally has me on the verge of packing my bags and moving there, has BANNED PLASTIC BAGS (don't ask, long story)


Bhutan is ruled by an absolute monarchy, so the level of control will be dramatically different to that of a western demographic government. But as a contrast, it highlights the question of exactly how far governments should and can go in the name of happiness. How much of our happiness is determined on an individual level and how much is a product of society en masse and our immediate environment? Which both directly and indirectly rests on government.


HOWEVER. For today I need something INSTANT. On an early morning run I tripped, fell over, and now resemble a bedraggled six year old after an altercation in the playground - with grazed, bloody knees and a general sense of shame that even after twenty (something) years I can’t coordinate my limbs. Limping the two miles home, I repeated a four-letter word with every wounded step, which I guess, ironically, is a form of meditation. But it’s FINE, worry not, I’ve paid a trip to the healing isle of Savalon and have two huge plasters keeping me together.


I'm going back to the early days of Forty Days, to the Purica website.

Participate in new physical and mental activities to improve confidence levels and coping mechanisms. Building confidence could be as easy as learning the meanings of new words, learning about new topics or if you are right-handed using instead your left hand more frequently (left hand connects with the more spiritual, intuitive and creative right side of the brain).

?? What if, like me, you're left-handed already? AND you can keep your 'new physical activities' well away from me today. Regardless... sounds easy, good day.


*I have just invented this suffix.

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Day 21 All About Food

Well, have to hand it to Dave from yesterday; following the 'task of the day' I had A Good Day. I need to stop being so cynical about these websites - as much as I struggle with the relentless product placement (and a few 'wrong' ideologies) they are spreading positivity and are by no means as dangerous as movements like GWB. Throughout this Forty Days mission, I’ve always wanted to stress that even if I might disagree with a site or book or mentality, if it works for anyone else then that is incredible. Trying to figure out what works for me is drifting closer to Buddhism... but I haven't tried Paul McKenna yet so who knows!


TODAY is going to be All About Food


On Ezine Articles I stumbled across 'Serotonin - The Nutritional Way of Increasing Happiness and Reducing Food Craving'


"Along with maintaining your happiness through a positive mental attitude, you can actually stimulate it through the food you eat. Yes, that's right you can really eat to be happy!"


I'm going to eat to be happy! I'm also, evidently, going to use too many exclamation marks today!


Right. I have a vague idea that healthy food = healthy mind and generally eat silly amounts of fruit and veg. But today I'm going to focus specifically on serotonin. Which immediately makes me think of chocolate. Which is No Bad Thing.


Rather predictably, there's more to serotonin than sinking my teeth into a slab of Dairy Milk... Serotonin is a brain chemical operating between nerve cells. It's a natural anti-depressant derived from an amino acid called tryptophan (stick with me here guys, without the assistance of Dr. Aniston The Science Bits aren't my forte). Most foods we associate with serotonin are 'quick fix' foods like sweets (I love), crisps (more so), alcohol (ditto), and processed foods (naah not so much). HOWEVER! The quick release of happy hormones is closely followed by a quick dip WHICH leads to 'inappropriate eating' and feeling blue. So eating foods that release tryptophan in steady measures lets you naturally boost long-term levels of serotonin. According to the article 'this in turn reduces your food cravings and raises your happiness levels. How great is that!' Great!!


Steady Foods (hmm, which a bit like Steady Men, and Steady Bank Balance seem a bit dull) include:


Chicken

Fish

Pheasant???

Partridge???

Bananas

Eggs

Nuts

Avocados

Milk

Cheese


Game pie anyone?


Off to the shops. (Or doning the Barbour, old chap, and off to the fields...)