Day 34 Neg Nos

Right guys, glaze over those eyes and languorously gaze into the distance. This post is all about nostalgia.

The psychological particulars of nostalgia are surprisingly interesting. It derives from acute homesickness, yet is scientifically proven to be a mainly positive emotional tool. Nostalgia is sentimental longing… a wistful affection for the past.

Getting down to the basics, nostalgia is essentially a mental device to bridge gaps in your life. A huge part of understanding how it works is figuring out where you stand in the whole continuity or discontinuity of ‘self’ argument. I KNOW GUYS! You’ve spent most of your life pondering this little nugget of contention, trust me, I’ve been there. On one hand – you can side with the Plato’s and Hume’s of this school of thought and reject the concept of identity as a single and consistent entity over time. ALTERNATIVELY, it could be argued continuity is a presupposition of identity. Despite what happens to you and how you change, all experience is unified by the one entity ‘I’.

SO, in light of this, nostalgia could be perceived as a tool to achieve identity continuity. Great! Even better if, on the whole, it’s a positive tool. Heaps of research has found negative mood states encourage nostalgic episodes due to resultant positive feelings.

BUT… what happens when a Bad Event take place that ‘disrupts’ your identity. No matter how hard you try, you can’t muster positive nostalgia because the mother of emotional mountains blocks the road? This is what I feel and it creates a huMONGous abyss of separation between the person I used to be and the person I am now… (apparently this is diachronic disunity, but I’m already suffering Mushy Brain Syndrome).

SO now we’re dealing with negative nostalgia.

There is, of course, a considerable amount of thorough, scholarly, and scrupulous research on negative nostalgia. For now, I’m going to ignore it all because if this blog is about happiness, finding Barry Maher gave me no end of happiness...

Bearded Baz from Las Vegas is, according to his website, a “world-class” salesperson. He is also a consultant, motivational speaker, and author of such heady tomes as "Getting the Most from Your Yellow Pages Advertising" and "No Lie: Truth if the Ultimate Sales Tool.

HOWEVER!! It doesn't stop there! Oh no... I felt indescribable joy when I discovered that Baz has written (to quote again) a "mini-cult classic novel" entitled ‘Legend’. The protagonist is an archaeologist called Martin! Martin excavates a door that talks! This is, quite frankly, bordering on genius...

Near the end of a long day of site evaluation, the archaeologist discovered the door. He wasn’t surprised when it started talking; he’d often said that just as surely as primitive civilizations surrounded their cities with walls, “more advanced” peoples surrounded themselves with machines that talked. His old fingers fumbled briefly with the familiar switches on his computer before he managed to activate it and it began translating.

I know! How mean of me to tease you. If you’re currently treading water in the depths of despair, you can read the rest of Chapter One right here.

ANYHOO. Back on track, Baz warns of the perils of Negative Nostalgia. Punishing yourself with Neg Nos (like it??) will accomplish nothing. Ok, thanks Baz, that's a good point. Stop there. Now. Please stop there. OH NO...

"I don't care if you're Attila the Hun. I don't care if you're Adolph Hitler. I don't care if you're Satan. Did I state that strongly enough?"

WHOA THERE BAZ!

Then, as if that monumental statement didn't matter, it's back to

"Beating ourselves up over the past—negative nostalgia—is like any other form of nostalgia, in that it's not going to improve tomorrow, and it can divert our attention and keep us from taking advantage of what's going on around us today."

A statement I agree with. I'm all over the show with Baz, but, clutching at straws, I get his point and it's a good one. It just takes a bit of time to achieve…

Day 33 Stats Stats Stats...

Oh sweet land of daily Internet access! Even after a few disruptive days I have struggled with the inability to blog. This questions my original plan of following Forty Days of Happiness with Forty Days of No Blog. Perhaps a Plan B is called for but no idea which direction this could go in. Earlier today, in a discount bookshop in York, I came across such inspirational titles as ‘From Single to Settled – Get A Life’ and ‘Bone Idle to Body Idol’… all suitable life-enhancing (?) blog fodder but not grabbing me for now…

HOWEVER – back on track. A week to go!! Let's dive right back into those murky yet divine waters of philosophy. Back to the Enlightenment when, in many ways, the study of All Things Happiness arose out of utilitarian thoughts on the Greater Good. Ok ok, I know, those devilishly clever ancients - Plato, Seneca and the toga-clad like, came up with many a Happy Theory. But insofar as today's Happiness Industry is concerned, theories are mainly focused on the science of happiness - economics, politics, and psychology. ‘Happiness’ has become an almost assumed entity - there is 'something' that can be referred to or labeled as happiness, it's a positive thing, it can be recognized, measured. Perhaps most critical of all, the tangible concept of 'happiness' can be molded, wrapped up in plastic and shipped out to the masses.

Where am I going with all this?! I don't know! Well I do... I want to get to the bottom of the Happiness Industry, get to the foundations of why, how and in what bloody dimension a book such as THIS can be even conceived of let alone sold in thousands...

The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting The Life You Want. By Sonja Lyubomirsky.

As a professor of psychology at the University of California, Sonya has spent many a year musing on happiness. Instead of sticking to thorough academic research, Sonya hit upon the not-so-novel idea of publishing her work as a Popular Book complete with eye-catching title and a this-book-will-change-your-life title. SPARE ME. She is not alone. It would seem the Fiscally Advantageous gene spread amongst academics - Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Havard University published his own, 'Stumbling on Happiness'.

Daniel, on the subject of Sonya's book, says:

"Everyone has an opinion about happiness, and unfortunately, many of them write books. Finally we have a self-help book from a reputable scientist whose advice is based on the best experimental data. Charlatans, pundits, and new-age gurus should be worried and the rest of us should be grateful. The How of Happiness is smart, fun, and interesting - and unlike almost every other book on the same shelf, it also happens to be true"

REALLY Daniel? Well let's all bow down at the great altar of academia and praise be the likes of you and Sonya. Thank you for sparing your valuable experimental time to publish, seemingly encouraged by the same BADLY DISGUISED motivation as those damn charlatans.

Sonya's book 'decodes' happiness. Breaks it down scientifically. In fact, Sonya has experimented SO much she can confidently tell you 50% of individual difference in happiness is determined by genes, 10% by life circumstances, and 40% by intentional activities. It is this magical, malleable 40% that can is effectively in YOUR hands. The book goes onto suggest ways of enhancing that 40%.

I guess the point I'm making is that even when quoting a gazillion statistics, studies, formulas, it's still not convincing is it?! OH and before I forget - page 252 - Botox apparently lifts hard-core depression. Yep. No words left. None. Nada. My frown lines are LOVING this.

For 24 hours I'm going to follow two tips from Sonya about maximizing potential happiness within the 40%

Over thinking (i.e., rumination) ushers in a host of adverse consequences: It sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negatively-biased thinking, impairs a person's ability to solve problems, saps motivation, and interferes with concentration and initiative.

So mission 1 – No over thinking.

Hugs make people happier. Students at Penn State who were instructed to give or receive a minimum of five hugs per day over the course of four weeks and to record the details became much happier. Students who merely recorded their reading activity showed no changes.

Mission 2 - Hug a lot.

Hmm. One area Sonya touches on is nostalgia, which honestly FASCINATES me – honestly! Not a hint of sarcasm I promise. That’s for tomorrow. I just couldn’t help but indulge for now….

Day 32 Back to nature...

Ok, missed a blog. When you’re stuck in the back of beyond in Scotland, one bar of mobile reception is heaven in a handset, let alone finding wireless.

SO following a completely natural progression, I’m going to move from AC Grayling to Cosmopolitan magazine. Now stuck in a B&B in sunny (??) South Shields, I stumbled upon a fine collection of Nuts, Zoo, and Reveal magazine - all obscuring the latest Cosmo. Flicking past such profound musings as ‘These Men Want You!’, 'Her Fist Slammed Into My Face' and 'Romance Takes More Than Just Flowers' I found an article about what makes Jennifer Lopez happy. Not wishing to sink to such inane levels (unhappiness is, for example, trying to lose baby weight), I was more (relatively speaking, obviously) interested in the ditty Q&As with Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and Gordon Brown.

You might be interested to know Dave Cam would be a farmer if not a politician. Cleggy likes Super Mario on the Wii and Golden Brown is a fan of 'most talent shows'. You might, like me be COMPLETELY BLOODY FED UP with politics and you just KNOW it's spin and blah blah BUT... one thing is consistent. When it comes to relaxing, they all answer along the lines of getting back to basics... growing veg, being in the mountains. Getting back to basics - to nature.

According to an article on Busika (share your knowledge!!) about Seeking Happiness, one way of figuring out what truly makes us happy is escaping material culture and 'going green'. According to this article, green - the colour of nature - represents balance and growth. It is a 'restful' colour for human eyes with great healing power. The article goes on to advise 'give yourself some time to decompress and make a good connection with Mother Nature'. Decompress?!! Oh maaan that's what it is! I'm SO compressed right now.

I guess this is particularly appealing to humanist psychologists, believing in the vague concept of a 'true nature' corrupted by consumerism, society, and technology.... The French-American microbiologist, experimental pathologist (??), environmentalist, humanist... Mr. Bloody Everything, Rene Dubos, took a slightly unconventional stance on the subject. The human desire to find an environment 'not subservient to the technological order' is not regressive or escapist in nature, but rather a progressive outlook. Achieving such a situation requires courage because we have to free ourselves from societal constraints in order to express our true nature. This impulse is, according to Rene, so widespread it will 'become a dominant social force in the future'.

Well I hope so, because it sounds considerably better than being 'compressed'. For now, I don't get much choice about being outside which only makes me crave my duvet. Which is of course testament to wanting what you can't have and admiring the green lush grass on the other side of that rotting ol’metaphysical fence. So tomorrow, in the fine silky drizzle of South Shields I'll remember this.

Day 31 Mind Control

I've been sucked into the world of New Age debate and it ain't pretty. Louise Hay has FANS. Lots of them. As does Sylvia Brown, and the book The Secret (which I read eons ago, clearly made a big impression). It's a whole world of anti-intellectual, anti-science debate neatly packaged and shipped out. Why is it so popular and why does it work for so many people? It cuts against the grain of the establishment and control is placed into the hands of the individual. It is your thoughts that dictate how happy you are, health, wealth, future... it's effectively saying external, corporeal reality is a manifestation of thoughts. Your thoughts create your reality.

Thinking waaay too much about thoughts.

THE (living) GOD of philosophy (there are many gods of philosophy but most of them are dead and buried. OR ARE THEY JEREMY BENTHAM??) AC Grayling engaged in an ongoing debate yesterday with neuroscientist Anders Sandberg about the ethics of erasing memories.

As science gets closer to figuring out the nature of Bad Thoughts, it gets closer to the ability to remove Bad Thoughts. Last year, studies suggested that beta-blockers, normally used for high blood pressure, interfered with memory 'reconsolidation'. Taking the pill can, effectively, numb the intensity of a memory. It's not confined to beta-blockers; there are numerous drugs that can influence how memories take hold. The majority of this research concerns post-traumatic stress, particularly amongst soldiers. If a new memory is consolidated at a time when stress hormones are hitting a peak, it creates an emotionally charged, strong recollection that, consequentially, creates a seriously strong influence over life going forward.

The AC God Grayling and Anders debate discussed the importance of something to help deal with post-traumatic stress, but outside of the extreme, what impact could this have on everyday life? YES this means YOU! Your head could be a genuine Garden of Eden!! I have a whole heap of memories from last year I could happily do without thanks, but given the choice, I'd keep them. Life is indeed, Forrest, like a box of chocolates. How will you ever know how to avoid the rank liqueur ones that explode in your mouth like an out of date sherry trifle, and appreciate the hazelnut swirl?

Brain manipulating drugs create a whole heap of ethical complications. CAN YOU imagine the conspiracy theories surrounding suppression of cognitive freedom?! Maah... this is stuff way ahead and beyond me. Grayling suggested that one day in the future, our 7 foot tall, blonde, extremely clever descendants would no doubt look back on such debates are primitive.

SO - I've just realised today was supposed to be about Buddhism. Ironically in light of this post, I forgot... However, faced with a 12 hour car journey into the Scottish Highlands, I am going to maybe try a bit of meditating, maybe a bit of escapism, and without a doubt a bit of sugary indulgence.

Day 30 The Scary One

OH the key to eternal happiness!! Forget religion! I don't need philosophy and money-grabbing fruit loops! All I need is a photo of Alan Cumming in a dapper blue suit flashing the peace sign. Oh Alan from which heavenly oyster shell of happiness did you crawl? This picture could keep me smiling for days.

I am, truth be told, going to go back on my word from Day 29. I'VE TRIED. Oh how I've tried. But, just as I'm clinging on to some false hope I can kick the Diet Coke habit, I can’t stop indulging in the lunatic fringe. It FEEDS my cynicism, is kindle to my sarcasm. WHICH, all in all, leads me onto someone very special:

Louise Hay

Grand Master of Pseudo-

Psychology. Dame of Daily

Affirmations. Baroness of Botox (clearly!! COME ON SHE’S 82 for chrissakes)

This is pure gold dust. FIRSTLY - as perhaps a small proviso - Louise Hay came from a truly horrendous background and through sheer bloody hard work and determination Made It. That is absolutely commendable. Likewise, a gazilliontrillion people own her INSANE range of products so she has a following - ergo, this works for some people. I however, ain't one of them. And trust me, once again, I've tried.

She's just got (putting it a tad mildly) a somewhat bizarre take on life. Louise believes that we are - physically, mentally, whatever - what we are because of how we think. So thoughts dictate all, essentially. The fundamental tenet to Loulou's preaching is that illness is caused by negative thoughts. And we're not just talking the odd sniffle.

An example list of 'true' causes for ailments, taken from "You Can Heal Your Life":

Bunions - a lack of joy in meeting the experiences in life

Sore Throat - holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self

Kidney Stones - lumps of undissolved anger

Cystic Fibrosis - too much self-pity

AIDS - feelings defenseless and hopeless. Denial of the true inner being, or sexual guilt.

This is pretty shocking stuff. Yes, there is scientific proof that positive people can have better health - the most recent research being a study into heart disease. Great. There is also the basic assumption that smiley happy people take better care of themselves, are less stressed, and have generally positive social relationships. BUT THIS IS CRAZY! I might be going out on a limb here, but rather than sweepingly and ignorantly declaring illness is a product of negative thinking, surely genetics, lifestyle, environment, fortune... so many many variables are involved. AND furthermore, despite this 'notion' diving head first into the sea of Utter Bullshit, surely this is such dangerous ground that people could repress negative thoughts out of fear?!

I completely accept that stress has a negative affect on the immune system. I am also fascinated by the link between the mind and the body. But Louise and her 'probable causes' are surely both malpractice and an insult to people suffering serious illness. Why couldn't she just stop at daily affirmations and self-esteem boosting techniques?! In comparison to Loulou, the Michael Antony's and Gretchen Ruben's of this industry are just wayward sheep who have lost touch with the mothership. Just a few screws short of a hardware shop. LOUISE HAY IS THE MOTHERSHIP. SHE'S THE COMPLETE SCREW-DEPLETED HARDWARE SHOP.

At the end of each outpouring of pseudo-psychological emotional tripe comes the disclaimer:

Note:
Louise Hay does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. In the event you use any of the information in this column for yourself, neither Louise Hay, contributors to this website, nor the publisher accepts responsibility for your actions.

Amazing. Classic. This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of lunacy and now actually can't take anymore. I'm cured of this guilty pleasure.

I will however, leave you with a particularly special daily affirmation:

I think of my thoughts as my best friends.

Yes. Friends who will STAB YOU IN THE BACK AND MAKE YOU ILL.

Tomorrow, a much needed diversion into the calming, reassuring world of Buddhism.

Day 29 Ministry of Insanity

So far, in my pursuit of All Things Happiness, I have dabbled my finger in the mire of politics, paddled around the edge of philosophy, religion, psychology, and nose-dived into the shallow puddle that is the Positivity Industry. The ‘Industry’, with all its books, websites, and courses is unrelenting, knows no bounds of sanity, and is more often than not just downright brainwashingly scary.

The latest technique to be a few peas short of a casserole, is something called Broadband Consciousness. This is the brainchild of the Ministry of Inspiration, set up by ‘superheroes’ Richard and Liz from – as far as I can tell – their house in Northamptonshire. I’ve tried in vain to find a nifty little summary of precisely what Broadband Consciousness is and I can’t. HOWEVER – whilst on this hunt, research covered a whole heap of website testimonials all suspiciously applying the same terminology. There seems to be something called the script – p’haps referring to how that naughty little ‘society today’ has dictated to us what and how we should think. This moulds you into the average person, getting average marks, leading an average life (I’m not making this up – it’s from here. Please don't read it for too long, I don't want to be held accountable). In reality guys, you’re not operating at your full potential. OH BLOODY NO. You are harbouring a SUPERHERO within!

So it’s basically a lifestyle-changing-switch-how-you-think type method. The website is almost an Ode to Youtube and I personally cannot face more than one or two video testimonials of people saying how much they spent on self-help books, how many failed courses they took and why THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT. The questionnaire provides a tad more insight – Broadband Consciousness is essentially about realizing potential, changing your personal life, improving career prospects, (the ubiquitous) making more money, and having more energy.

Question 8 for example, ‘Completeness: would you say you are ‘there’ or you are ‘nearly there’.

Should you desire a space on a Broadband Consciousness Open Day, you are promised full access to real life testimonials (full access because I assume they are mostly kept locked away), honest and heart felt inspiration, and totally unique, transformational and motivation (…what?? Transformational WHAT? SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS SANE where is the detail??)

Not sure if it’s evident but I’m clearly not built, not ‘open’ with ‘full access’ to such courses and therefore as of tomorrow, with limited days left, will be avoiding all sites such as this. It’ll be hard, they’ve become a bit of a guilty pleasure… however, because I’m feeling generous today, I’ll leave you with this gem of a quote from a Broadband Consciousness testimonial:

I can now say I have the picture of life’s puzzle on the lid of the box and I can and have started putting all the pieces together.

Oh and on the lines of LIST OBSESSION, this is coming close to a favourite:

7 Reasons Why...

	Preview How You Can Enjoy The Best Of Your Life
	See How This Gets Stronger With Time
	Meet Real Life Testimonials
	As Much Energy As You Can Handle
	Includes Free Lunch, Tea & Coffee
	Create The Life You Desire
	This Will Show You 'The How'

Yes, it’s about time you assessed your priorities and ranked ‘Free Lunch, Tea & Coffee’ above ‘Create The Life You Desire’.

I can't face any more of this today. SO, from Positive Thinking Day I am going to take point 8 (LIST LIST LIST LIST LIST)

8. Kindness - Be kind to yourself and those around you.

Day 28 Sunkissed Hues...

Perhaps an explanation for yesterday’s mental mess of a blog is that I’m trying (TRYING) to get myself off the sweet nectar, elixir of (my) life, that is Diet Coke. I lasted til 4pm, which is a good start (it’s actually bloody phenomenal but I want to play it down).

Anyhoo… Gretchen’s Lists Are Good approach worked. I’m hesitant to attribute it to Gretchen specifically, as far as I’m aware To Do lists are a relatively global phenomenon employed on Most Days by Most People. Whatever, it worked and I was relatively productive pre-DC, a veritable machine post-DC. MOVE ASIDE GRETCH – chemically enhanced, sweetened beverages need room here.

Today’s blog is all about: SELF ESTEEM.

PAR example: Kelly Osbourne. She of the lavender-hued hair and fine porcelain skin is, apparently, the new “self-esteem ambassador” for St. Tropez, the self-tan company (“ah ambassador! With these orange streaky legs you are simply spoiling us!”). St Tropez have teamed up with The Princes Trust in an effort to address the problem of low body self-esteem amongst young people, and the whole campaign is fronted by Kelly O.

Now, I wouldn’t dream of disregarding the importance of such an issue – in fact, it’s about time something happened. HOWEVER. It’s just a slightly bizarre trio and, to be honest, St Tropez stick out like a sore, sun burnt thumb. What kind of illogical thought process took place? Fake tan = confidence. Of course! Get a tan and you’ll look and feel better about your body?? A tan is an integral part of having body self-esteem? WELL crack open the Diet Coke and call me Donatella

To quote Kelly:

“Dancing With The Stars and having my first ever St. Tropez spray tan was a huge confidence booster for me - it helped me to get fit and allowed me to look and feel beautiful from the outside, in. More over it also helped me to see that I can achieve anything I put my mind to, which was a huge accomplishment for me - I've never really been able to finish something I've started, and to do so feels amazing."

Perhaps a superfluous comment, but I would like Kelly to specify precisely what happened during her spray tan that ‘helped’ her get fit. A more significant issue, surely, is the concept of feeling ‘beautiful from the outside, in’. Is that the right message for young people tackling low self-esteem?! I can’t help but feel that concealed within all of this is the general assumption that with a tan you look healthier and (hush now) slimmer.

It would seem that self-esteem is a component of happiness, but not an integral part. A study assessing levels of happiness and self-esteem in a sample of 621 retired people found that the two highly correlated. Despite this, the best predictors of happiness were mood and temperamental traits and social relationships. By contrast, self esteem levels were best predicted by motivational traits – optimism, lack of hopelessness. Science part over, whilst rummaging around the virtual world in hunt of a self-esteem/happiness connection I found another truly inspirational site: The Ministry of Inspiration.

With the motto ‘We’re all superheroes pretending to be ordinary’, MoI advocate a ‘technique’ called Broadband Consciousness. Claiming it will help boost self-esteem and confidence, BC is… I’m not really sure. It sounds like brainwashing to be honest. I’m lining it up for tomorrow’s blog, but for now a quote from Richard (UK minister for MoI): 'Happiness and unhappiness are merely the high and low tides on the edge of a great sea called contentment’

I’ll mull this one over whilst enduring the strenuous work-out of a tan.