Day 15 Negativity Bias

Bonjourno! Si si! Today, I fly to Italy. So there's not a lot to be negative about.

But I'll blog anyhoo because I'm possibly addicted to this now. Following Scroll Number Five from yesterday I spent some time on my Pleasing Personality and hopefully was Pleasing to be around. However, am getting a little sick of sweeping, oversimplified 'life statements'. So, (I ask you!) what is the alternative? In a word, science. Ooh and surveys! Ha, gotta love a survey! Just today I have learn that the 'pinnacle of marital bliss' is precisely 2 years, 11 months and 8 days after saying 'I do'. Happiness, as a part of this survey, is apparently NOT about lavish gifts (although I can imagine they would help) but being there for each other to share 'special moments'. But by far the most brilliant thing from this article are the top 'related stories' from the website upon which I stumbled: 'Having kids can mean end of marital bliss', closely followed by 'Average person spends 20 years of life in pain' ?? What kind of pain? Marital pain?

Rightio, after my little diversion back into the murky waters of motivational speakers, I'm back on track with Self Help Book week.

I also think - just think y'know, just throwing it out there - I might have discovered something I actually like. Can't commit myself fully to that statement, but in comparison to the glut of BS throwing its weight around the Happiness Industry, this book is (relatively speaking obviously) refreshing, intelligent and NOT evangelical.

Self Help Book Number 2: The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom. Written by Jonathan Haidt.

Jonathan Haidt is an Associate Professor of Psychology at Virginia University who specialises in positive psychology. His research is primarily based on morality and emotions and how these vary across cultures. Positive psychology, specifically, is the scientific study of 'human flourishing', with three central concerns: positive emotions, positive individual traits and positive institutions. Gaining an understanding and increased awareness of each area of positivity will, it is hoped, lead to positive families, children, schools, workplaces, communities, therapy. Positive psychologists believe this can be observed through empirical studies. I literally CANNOT FACE typing the word positive again. After that one. That's it now folks.

Opened on page: 28

I will let Charlie Brown introduce this for me...

Charlie Brown: I think I’m afraid to be happy.

Lucy: How can you be afraid to be happy?

Charlie Brown: Because whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

HOW TRUE Charlie Brown.

There's that ol'nugget of a saying what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I have always loathed this saying because whilst it is true in a very physical sense, what might not kill us does have the very real potential to screw us up FOR LIFE.

So therefore - and linking in all manner of points from the Week of Isms - Bad Things happen and Bad Things can happen to Good People, and Bad Things might not kill you but they'll do a pretty good job of Breaking You Into A Million Little Pieces. Got that? WHICH leads me on to page 28 of the Happiness Hypothesis - Negativity Bias. Why are we so drawn to negativity - well ok, firstly, are we and if yes (yes) to what extent? I'd always held the basic assumption that it's just 'human nature', or symptomatic of feeling down, to prefer wallowing or veering to the negative. According to Haidt, most people see too many things as bad and not enough as good, to be more affected by destructive acts as opposed to constructive. BUT this makes genetic sense - 'if you were designing the mind of a fish, would you have it respond as strongly to opportunities as to threats? No way.' Is it simply a case of bad is stronger than good? 'Responses to threats and unpleasantness are faster, stronger, and harder to inhibit than responses to opportunities and pleasures'.

Today I am going to focus my attention onto Good Things, as and when they happen, with this in mind. I want to be able to recognise how easy it is to be drawn towards Bad Things and how easy/hard it is to focus away from the negative. Despite my absolute joy at the prospect of a few days in Italy, I do have to initially face London, then Stansted Airport, followed by the pinnacle of Stressful Traveling. EASYJET. So this could be interesting.