Day 24 A Dream of a Man

Right, so, Sunday's blog touched upon the concept that behaviour such as altruism is innate but corrupted, in a sense, by society to the point of existing only as result of conscious effort. This is all obviously highly debatable but that just makes me want to talk about it EVEN MORE.

Every now and then, throughout this blog, I fall in love. Just a little. But this time, guys, it's different. OH GOD IS IT DIFFERENT. Finally FINALLY someone who, in my eyes, truly is that abundant burst of spring! A palpable crocus in the frost! A shining daffodil in the quagmire of nonsensical drivel that is the Positive Industry…

I am literally skipping through this one.

Adam Phillips is That Man. An ex-NHS psychotherapist who realized Much Better a Pound could be made through private therapy and authorship fits so snuggly into a North London stereotype I’d like to package him up and ship him out to Balham. However, tis from his book-laden, leather sofa clad Notting Hill flat that such works of extreme beauty as ‘On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored’ and ‘Going Sane’ have arisen. Ok so his work is not without (a whole truckload) of criticism - pretentiousness and succumbing to unsubstantiated aphorisms are popular – but this led to the quite frankly spectacular “oozes the arrogance of a man no one has contradicted for too long”. That, Carmen Callil of the Telegraph, only makes me want to know more…

He is one of the rare nuggets of sanity out there to recognize the worrying pile of self-help books is more of a problem than a solution. To quote from Darwin’s Worms: “Lives dominated by impossible ideals, complete honesty, absolute knowledge, perfect happiness, eternal love are experienced as continuous failure”

Oh how I swoon

“Sanity involves learning to enjoy conflict, and giving up on all myths of harmony, consistency, and redemption”

Right, snapping out of it just for a second (and perhaps seeing a slight, but equally fascinatingly paradoxical, look to Phillips of Bob-Dylan-Meets-Richard-Curtis-Character), Phillips succinctly slices through the Happiness Industry in a way I can only dream about – as far as the ‘search for happiness’ is concerned, he suggests this is simply a desire to keep ones appetite alive (see some dude called Freud for more of this malarkey). Figuring out what we really want is tough in general but when snuggling under a blanket of capitalism the whole process is generally corrupted by consumerism. WHICH encourages laziness when determining what might actually be a good course for us AND willingness to be led into whatever consumer trend has been shaped ahead of us. ALL very cynical, idealist, pretentious, WHATEVER, I know but I don’t care because it’s just a refreshing change to most of material out there on happiness. I know the majority of it Comes From A Good Place, and means well, but it doesn’t seem to get to the heart of why things go a bit wrong, and how this (get ready for the scientific terminology guys!!....) general wrong-ness is perpetuated.

However, to go against my entire post thus far, and because I’ve been reading about Phillips for too long (and you can [apparently] have too much of a good thing) I’ve found a quite spectacular article on Reader’s Digest. FROM which I will attempt Point Six (WHAT IS IT WITH HAPPINESS WEBSITES AND LISTS IT IS

1. Driving me insane

2. Driving me insane

3. Driving me insane

WITH REPETITIVENESS)

6. Just say no. Eliminate activities that aren't necessary and that you don't enjoy. If there are enough people already to handle the church bazaar and you're feeling stressed by the thought of running the committee for yet another year, step down and let someone else handle things.

Well, despite the lack of a church bazaar/committee/Victoria Sponge Cake To Bake in my life, I am going to just say no today.